It’s your first date. You tried so hard, you spent three hours at the beauty parlor, you wore all your best clothes together, and the highest stilettos you have, and the hottest makeup, but for some reason, he never asked you out again.
It was such a disappointment.
A week later there are his photos on Instagram with some homely girl. First you’re indignant, “Whatever he sees in her?” Then you comfort yourself with, “He’s simply scared of beautiful, striking women.” And you move on to look for another guy who will duly appreciate your new lips, stilettos, and manicure.
So why is it that mousey women find a worthy partner, while striking beauties are always looking? Is female beauty really important to men?
If women are desperate to get married, they often make the same mistake over and over – they try to be cooler than other women. That is why they spend hours in a hair dresser’s chair, put up with painful Botox shots, buy up all the latest fashion collections, and even go for plastic surgery. They also go to The Art of Sex classes and learn the 100 best steak and salad recipes by heart.
There are two incentives that spur women on in this endless race – the fear to be worse than others and the desire to earn love.
Many are used to buying love since early childhood. Mothers and grandmothers used to say, “I won’t love you if you don’t finish your cereal,” “I don’t need a daughter who fails school,” “If you loved Nana, you’d do the dishes.” So, the girls grow up convinced that you need to behave yourself and please everyone to be loved.
Alas, you do not get love in adult life for a round butt, long hair, or delicious meals. Even an erotic massage diploma does not help. You can only hook a psychological teenager with it, who feels that it is important to have a model nearby as a paid sex doll.
For ethical, men with mature personalities it is much more important how they feel next to a woman than the size of her bust or the color of her hair.
What do ethical men want?
They want a reliable mate for life, who will follow the man to his goals and believe in him; someone who will be a faithful companion on the way, a reliable partner and a good team player; someone who shines like the sun and whose happiness is contagious. Next to such a woman a man can relax and finally take off the load of skyrocketing responsibility that bears down on any decent person and that says that if anything happens to him, his wife and children won’t make it.
If a man knows that in any emergency his wife can easily make the money and raise the children, his life has much less pressure in it and frees up an enormous amount of energy for strategically important new things he can do.
By the way, a normal, healthy man does not look for a “governess” who will nudge, point out, or remind him to button his coat.
Nor does he look for a silly little girl who will force him to act the sugar daddy. It is more patriarchal men who look for such women; men who want to have absolute power and obedience in a family in exchange for solution of all life problems.
The present-day western man expects equal partnership and team play.
What about beauty?
Men actually do not have a single ideal of female beauty. Just like women. After all, everyone likes different men: some like the skinny intellectual type with the glasses, others – hulky bodybuilders, yet others cunningly pick the Winnie-the-Pooh type, because they’ve a few extra pounds themselves and their favorite pastime is to lie on the couch watching movies. What would they do with a bodybuilder, who may, God forbid, actually take them to the gym.
By the same token, there are always men who like women of absolutely any appearance, regardless of their bust size, height, age, hair color or other physical characteristics.
Love: conditions, opportunities, and risks
To begin with, love comes about as certain physiological correspondences, what is known as sex appeal, and intellectual correspondences, what is known as affinity of souls or sympathy. This may be a common system of values, life goals or the harmony of higher meanings and causes.
For love to grow, it is best to have an approximately equal social standing, a similar level of education and intellectual growth, as well as of financial wellbeing.
In the event of one person marrying beneath themselves, the other partner must catch up, so as not to smother the budding love under a load of big and little conflicts.
At the beginning of this article I mentioned that the most important thing for a man is how he feels next to a woman. Imagine that he falls in love with a very beautiful lady. He takes her to meet his friends, where she opens her mouth and begins to spout incredible nonsense. He feels embarrassed by her in front of his friends and at that point love quickly fades to nothing.
It evaporates just as quickly if the lady has a ton of complaints against her chosen one, constantly puts pressure on him, or has a lot of demands and expectations. Even the strongest love of a man disappears if a woman constantly demonstrates her lack of respect for him.
Long live body fun!
Remember: no plastic surgeon or the best hair-dresser in the world can guarantee you a happy marriage. Get inspired by body fun ideas – love yourself and your body and don’t try to make it fit some made-up perfection criteria. Then you will be able to really love men.
Love yourself and love people and the world will turn its face towards you.