The idea that manicure and makeup are more important than anything else is still quite prevalent in the minds of some ladies. Nearly every one of them has a friend, an aunt, or a mother-in-law of whom they say in an awed whisper “She’s fully made up even when she takes the trash out!” They also discuss with gusto the news that Angelina Jolie was photographed topless or that Mark Zukerberg married Priscilla Chan – whatever he sees in her! Where did these myths of beautiful nails come from and how can they harm you if you believe in them?
Every day you see in movies or on TV stars, actresses, and hosts, who have faultless make-up, manicure, and hair. Your brain forms solid neural connections: beauty = success, men’s love and confidence. Yet, is it really so?
Undoubtedly, there are people for whom certain make-up and hair style are included in their professional duties. Naturally, a Hollywood actress cannot go in front of the camera in her home dress. The same employment requirements work for advertising video models, TV hosts, and singers.
The employees in the TV and movie industries receive all the services of make-up artists, image-makers and hair-stylists during business hours at the expense of the employer. They get to the dressing room ahead of time and wait for 2-3 hours for the beauty professionals to make them look properly. It is part of their job description and they are paid for the time.
Regular women, whose bosses couldn’t care less whether they wear makeup to work or not, look at the TV and the pretty pictures and, for some reason, think that they must look like that too.
Moreover, these ladies are surprised, indignant and refuse to accept the fact that in their everyday life those same actresses, hostesses, and models may be very unprepossessing and quite easily go out with no makeup, wearing sweatpants and a pony tail.
At this point, I often read irate comments, something like, “But you’re wearing makeup in your pictures!” True, I do a professional photo shoot every few months. Think: why is appearance important for infopreneurs and other public figures? After all, they sell their consulting or training services, not play in Hollywood movies?
They need it for the glamorous image which, in the minds of potential clients, is associated with success and money. In fact, in a 5-10 minute YouTube video, any infopreneur acts as a TV host and their job is to sell their services for as much money as possible. The clients will be more willing to take their money to the coach who shows them an image of pampered life style rather than to the one who appears in jeans, with shaggy hair, and a mug of coffee.
I verified this personally: I’ve been selling three times as many classes after doing premium-class photo shoots with a hair-stylist and make-up artists among beautiful scenery.
So what, stop wearing makeup now?
If your appearance makes money for you, for instance, if you need a photo session for business purposes, you can invest 6-12 hours in a professionally made appearance. If you need a couple of good photos for a dating website or to meet the right kind of people in social media, you can pay for makeup artist services in order to look perfect on your photos or video.
If you really love chatting with your manicurist or enjoy the touch of the beautician – enjoy it, there is nothing wrong with it.
However, if thinking about appearance takes more than 1% of your time, especially if you are discussing SOMEONE ELSE’s appearance in earnest, it is a sign that you are a failure doomed to penniless and miserable old age. It is all because if you don’t use your brain, you very quickly lose good men, inherited fortune, and any other type of income.
You can’t cover up fear with makeup
“I use make up and wear heels to please myself.” Women hide a multitude of fears under that guise. If you are alone in the house on a weekend and you do not rush to the mirror first thing in the morning to put on makeup to please yourself, it means you are fine with yourself without it. Most likely, we’re dealing here with insecurity, fear of aggression or rejection by people, and attempts not to feel quite as much of a failure as you do without makeup. There may also be fear of losing a husband or losing social respect.
You can only solve this problem from the inside, by acquiring personal strength and really becoming successful and happy. Because no amount of makeup can cover up your lackluster eyes, no nails can give you professional competence, and no shoes or clothes will help the man near you feel loved and manly. Nor will any kind of hair give you more health.
The only things that are important is your internal state of mind and your real impact on society obtained through professional and meaningful achievements.
Let’s figure out how love, respect, and career are related to the “war-paint” makeup and no less “war-paint” manicure.
A man who only values a woman’s good looks is a bad choice to begin with. Think, what will happen to his love when he sees you with a cold and a swollen nose, or pregnant and breastfeeding? Will he stay with you as you get older or exchange “a 40-year-old wife for two 20-year-olds”?
Only the dullest or defective male needs the war-paint attractiveness. It is real achievements that are important for real social success and respect. The best men always choose the “cool” woman given a choice between a painted doll and a woman with commonly accepted achievements.
Let’s compare women of different ages and how successful they are with men.
At 20: an Olympic champion who never uses make-up or a fully-painted little silly – who will have better boyfriends?
At 30: a neat owner of a chain of stores or an office clerk with mile-long nails – who will have an easier time marrying a more influential man?
At 40: a tough professional, the best in town and known nationwide or a would-be-young biddy, who is only concerned with her appearance and cannot solve a single problem – who would have better offers to go out?
Successful men don’t care for decorations and accessories, the most important thing to them, is how they feel next to a woman. That is why all of the millionaires’ wives that I’ve met have kept the love of their husbands with no makeup and no high heels. Meanwhile, the painted dolls are exchanged for other ones, but younger, very quickly, because they are not loved – there is no one under all that paint to love.
If girls from poor countries do not have access to education, they only have two options: they can either work very hard or become kept women. To do that, they try to sell themselves as dearly as possible by using makeup, high heels and rhinestones. Then, at 40 the little made-up sillies eke out a wretched existence by begging pittance from a male creature who cheats on them with the same type of sillies, but younger.
A normal, self-respecting woman in a civilized country does not really like to be a kept woman. They prefer an intellectually and socially equal partner: marriage for them is not an issue of survival, but of love.
No super-duper manicure will procure social respect for you. You need education and being in professional demand, as well as involvement in charity work to be respected.
A career does not depend on your attempts to paint artificial femininity, but on your brains and temperament. A calm, confident, intelligent woman has no need of high heels or lipstick in order to build a successful career or business.
As a rule, the less intelligent and professional a woman is, the more hallucinations she suffers with regard to nails, hair, or makeup. The employers realize right away that she is trying to catch a male with her appearance as bait, to provide for herself and her children and that means they should not expect high-quality work from her.
Some ladies are so involved in their appearance that they take time off work for manicure leaving their jobs unfinished and so, become the first in line to be laid off.
You must realize that if you are a regular office clerk, your salary will not change whether you do your nails or not. The only things that matter to your boss are your professionalism, your brains, your experience, your knowledge, and your willingness to work. Think of your professional growth and you will be able to find a job after maternity leave as well as at the dangerous pre-retirement age.
I would like to offer you a short test to find out if you are paid for how you look at work:
1. Re-read your employment agreement and all its appendices and see if there are requirements for employees with regard to mandatory manicure, makeup, or hair styling.
2. Imagine that you have come to work with no makeup whatsoever. Do you think you will be fined or left without a bonus?
3. Was your appearance the crucial factor in hiring you? Or did your future boss look at your education and experience?
4. Are you sure you will be promoted for hobbling around the office on high heels?
If you have answered “no” to most of these questions, starting tomorrow, try to spend less time on makeup and hair that in five years will disappear without a trace.
Invest the time you free up in studying, professional development, and self-PR, so that in a few months you can move to a better-paying job.